My Apology to Everyone
Last week a gunman in an Oregon community college targeted Christians and shot them, killing nine and injuring many others. I did my research into his background, motives, etc, and the summary is that he didn’t have a girlfriend and didn’t like how his life was going for him. He felt like a loser and was fueled by hate towards Christians. I don’t need to read more.
Three months ago when I posted about an issue controversial to Christians I wasn’t qualified to talk about my faith, but after a summer of intensive studying and my baptism I would like to apologize right now to every person on behalf of whatever it is about Christians that have hurt them.
To everybody who is against the faith in general, I’m so sorry. You guys are probably against it for the same reasons I used to be thanks to the media. No sex before marriage, no gay marriage, no divorce, no abortion. Those four can probably be reworded to “no human rights”, right? But the truth is, everybody who has tried to force those views upon you has never opened a Bible. The Bible says those things but in the context of a perfect world. In the perfect world, only a man and a woman will get married and stay married, and they will only consummate after marriage so they can turn that into a child. That’s how the world was created, but it’s humans who have changed it because we’re not born perfect. It doesn’t mean we should go out of our ways to do those things, but it also doesn’t mean we’re destined to go to hell if have homosexual relations or murder a fetus. All my non-Christian friends have said Pope Francis is amazing because he’s so open-minded to these controversial issues. He’s not doing so because he’s a carefree guy. He’s ACTUALLY acting like who he’s filling in for in our world. Aka Jesus. Jesus never hated anyone for being gay. He welcomes everyone with open arms.
To everybody who has told me they were raised in a Christian/Catholic household and were driven away, I’m so sorry. You guys actually make up the biggest population of all my friends, so you’re not singled out. I’m sorry for all the rules that your families or churches have put upon you. I’m sorry if you weren’t allowed to have fun or dress how you want or even watch TV. Raisa has said that a lot of church leaders manipulate you into what they want, and that’s exactly how I would summarize it too. Whatever rules that drove you guys away from the Christian community, they were made up by whoever it is that preached to your community. God never said any of those things. He only wants you to love Him and love others, and I don’t see how not allowing a child to watch TV helps you do that. When I became a Christian, I was set free from every single rule that controlled my life before, rules made by a society called New York City: such as how in order to do well in life I have to be a good drinker, I have to build my friendships by gossiping and manipulating people’s trusts, I have to dress provocatively to flirt with my boss for that promotion, I have to get married by a certain age or I’m doomed, etc etc etc. All of that garbage was put where they belong when I became a Christian and can live the life I want to live.
To everybody who doesn’t believe in God anymore due to tragedy, I’m so sorry. Our world of ups is filled with many more downs but they are all caused by humans, not God. God didn’t make me sick this weekend, I did by trying to do too much and not getting enough rest. God doesn’t create car accidents, irresponsible drivers do. God didn’t sink the South Korean ferry, the greedy ferry company did. God is not trying to burn California, drought from global warming is. God didn’t shoot your children in Oregon, the gunman did because he’s a victim of hurt too.
To everybody who hurt me for becoming Christian, I’m so sorry. I don’t know if you think it’s fun to hurt me or something, or if you’ll make a change in your life by hurting me. I don’t know if you will mock or criticize someone wearing a hijab for their religion or not, but I hope you don’t extend it to that. I’m just sorry for whatever it is that made you so skeptical that you can’t leave other people alone and need to build your self worth on acting like you’re better, or whatever it is because I can’t understand at all.
To everybody who hates Christians to the point of opening fire at innocent people, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what made you go down that path, but I know it started with hurt. Maybe it was a Christian that hurt you. I don’t believe anybody is born to be a gunman. It’s darkness that took over you. I see this darkness clearer and clearer. People are all like little fragile flowers lost in a cold dry world. We created this cold dry world but we’re also the ones who can make it brighter. Through love.
It’s the bonds between humans that make us happy. Christian or not, we need each other. Christian or not, we need love. And love is not something you keep waiting to get from another person. It’s not something you keep searching for. It’s something you receive when you open your heart to the world and try to understand it to the core. You’re not going to find love by being against the world and waiting for your soulmate to swoop in. You’re not going to find love by having three dating profiles or begging your friends to set you up or flirting with every cutie you come across. You have to be open to love first by sending a text to a long lost friend telling them how much you miss them. You have to be open to love first by stop thinking everyone is out to get you. You have to be open to love by not being angry with the world. Learn to let go what’s not worth your time and use that time to build bonds through love. Life will become great because love makes it great.
As a baptized Christian that’s the apology I can give, and I speak on behalf of my fellow brothers and sisters out there hurting people because they don’t understand their own faith. I still have so much more to understand after hardcore studying for the last six months since I’ve surrendered my life to God. But I’m able to live every day free from everything that pushed me to the point of needing to turn to Him. Perhaps I should thank all those things for making my life so great now, because I will never turn back.