10 Things Wrong with Naruto’s Epilogue
There are some days when I consider it 8 years my life wasted, but that’s just not fair to the series. Almost everything about Naruto was amazing in its own way (i.e. reanimating a dead ninja army was dumb, but we got to see Minato!) up to the real ending *SPOILERS STARTING NOW* where Kakashi became Hokage to lead the rebuilding of society, Sasuke actually flirted with a girl and became a nomad, and Naruto gave back Sasuke’s headband that he kept all these years.
But then there was Chapter 700. Where do I even begin?
- Why would anyone let Shino become a childhood educator? The patience for dealing with children is not in his character, not to mention his getup makes him look like a gang member.
- I can’t help but notice Onoki said Ex-Five Kage when there are only four of them.
- Gaara looks like he got right with Jesus and became a youth pastor. –@sutaasei
- Sasuke and Sakura’s daughter is named Salad.
- Sasuke has a daughter with Sakura.
- She looks like Karin.
- I’m not an expert on genetics, but Naruto’s children somehow inherited his whiskers that were caused by his mother’s Kyuubi-influenced pregnancy.
- These two very unlikely couples were put together just for the sake of coordinating their pregnancies so the new Ino-Shika-Cho would be born in the same year.
- Dogs don’t often live more than 15 years. If Kiba received Akamaru before he started at the Academy, and Akamaru is still alive 10-12 years after the baby boom era that probably took place several years after the war, Akamaru would now be over 30 years old.
- The Hokage uses a Macbook Pro.
What really upsets me is how this epilogue is exactly the same as Harry Potter’s. The day is a big day. Short glances at what’s happened to every minor character. People who had nothing to do with each other in the main story somehow ended up together. Everyone who had kids had them in the same year. Protagonist explains something important to his son. Protagonist who now is an old man looks proud and creepy in the final shot.
It’s a terrible thing to end an epic series like it’s a soap opera, dattebayo.